*Happy Sigh*

Sat in a coffee shop, not part of the chain I work for, updating my blog and being a struggling writer cliche. It's fun. I might do this every week. It's nice to be out of Daves room and actually just chilling without being around other people. Well... I am around other people, but they're not reading me quotes off of IMDB, bugging me to watch movies, or listening to music I don't like. I've chucked on some earphones, and am listening to the Legally Blonde Musical soundtrack... London cast. Yay! I however, have a little problem with this soundtrack. They've changed the lyrics in Positive, which as anyone who has read this blog will know is one of my favourite songs... I don't like this version much. Will have to get the Broadway version from Jack. As that's the one I first heard, and I <3 it! Lol.

Men so Delicious...

I want to lick their faces. For serious. In no particular order...

Hugh Jackman.


Charlie Hunnam.


Zac Hanson.


David Boreanaz.


Jackson Rathbone.


Kellan Lutz.


Taylor Hanson.


T.J Thyne.


Justin Long.


Ryan Donowho.


Timothy Olyphant.


Robert Schwartzman.


Isaac Hanson.


Ryan Reynolds.


Johnny Depp.


Matthew McConaughey.


I'm sure there are more... Of course I'm too dazzled by their stomach twisting loveliness to really focus. :oD Fangirl? Not really. Perv? Damn straight.

So that's my "Type" I guess... Are there similarities between all of them? Or just different groups... I'm not sure.

This has been an entirely too gossip blog/ mindless/ banal post. However, I am a girl, and I refuse to be serious all the time. Hence this post, the one about boots, and no doubt others that will have no connection to anything except that it's full of beautiful things I like. ^.^

I guess it says a lot about me that I cant really follow through on anything for more than a few weeks. I start a diet, forgotten about it in a few weeks. Quit smoking, I'm back on the fags again in a few weeks. Start a story, a few weeks in I've abandoned it due to lack of ideas. Have a blog? Sporadically write on it. Usually about nothing at all.

It's quite pathetic really.

Like a Boss... My Current Move Collection of Win,

So I have about 300 DVDs at my mums, safely boxed away in her basement until I have somewhere to actually house them for reals. Here though, with me, I have about 170 films, with more on the way. I'm epically proud of this. So proud infact, that I am going to list them all, and probably update this post as the list grows. Do you know how much space these films take up? About 400GB. Yeah. That's badass. Lol. I'm thinking of doing "reviews" for some or maybe all of them, depending how bored I get of the idea, as I watch them. Cos I'm THAT cool. Heh.

Also, listing them here, means that if someone wants to borrow one, I can send them here to pick and it saves me trying to remember them all. Lol.

1. 30 Days of Night.
2. Airheads.
3. American History X.
4. An American Werewolf in Paris.
5. Arachnophobia.
6. Astroboy.
7. BASEketball.
8. Beverly Hills Cop 1.
9. Beverly Hills Cop 2.
10. Beverly Hills Cop 3.
11. Black Dynamite.
12. Black Snake Moan.
13. Blazing Saddles.
14. Blood and Bone.
15. Brick.
16. Buried.
17. Caddyshack.
18. Case 39.
19. Chaw.
20. Clerks 2.
21. Con Air.
22. Darkness Falls.
23. Dead Cert.
24. Dead Heat.
25. Dead Mans Shoes.
26. Death Race.
27. Devil.
28. Doghouse.
29. Dracula: Dead and Loving it.
30. Fatal Attraction.
31. Friday the 13^th Part 1.
32. Friday the 13^th Part 10: Jason X.
33. Friday the 13^th Part 11: Freddy vs. Jason.
34. Friday the 13^th Part 12:
35. Friday the 13^th Part 2.
36. Friday the 13^th Part 3.
37. Friday the 13^th Part 4: The Final Chaper.
38. Friday the 13^th Part 5: A New Beginning.
39. Friday the 13^th Part 6: Jason Lives.
40. Friday the 13^th Part 7: The New Blood.
41. Friday the 13^th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan.
42. Friday the 13^th Part 9: Jason goes to Hell.
43. Frozen.
44. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.
45. H.P Lovecrafts Necronomicon.
46. Hard Candy.
47. Harley Davidson and the Marlbro Man.
48. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 1.
49. Hocus Pocus.
50. Hot Tub Time Machine.
51. House of Flying Daggers.
52. How to Train your Dragon.
53. I know who Killed Me.
54. Ice Age 3.
55. Idiocracy.
56. Imaginary Heroes.
57. Incredibles.
58. Iron Man 2.
59. John Carpenters The Thing.
60. Jonah Hex.
61. Kick-Ass.
62. Knight and Day.
63. Kynodontas.
64. Labyrinth.
65. Le Femme Nikita.
66. Legends of the Fall.
67. Let the Right One in.
68. Look Who's Talking 1.
69. Look Who's Talking Now.
70. Look Who's Talking Too.
71. Machete.
72. Monsters.
73. Moon.
74. Mum and Dad.
75. My Soul to Take.
76. Necromentia.
77. Nekromantic.
78. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.
79. Nigh of the Demons.
80. Night of the Living Dorks.
81. Orphan.
82. Perrier's Bounty.
83. Piranha.
84. Poison Ivy 1.
85. Poison Ivy 2: Lilly.
86. Poison Ivy 3: New Seduction.
87. Predators.
88. Rain Man.
89. REC.
90. Red.
91. Reign of Fire.
92. Resident Evil 1.
93. Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse.
94. Resident Evil 3: Extinction.
95. Resident Evil 4: Afterlife.
96. Restraint.
97. Return of the Living Dead 2.
98. Robin Hood Men in Tights.
99. Running Scared.
100. Salt.
101. Saw 1.
102. Saw 2.
103. Saw 3.
104. Saw 4.
105. Saw 5.
106. Saw 6.
107. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.
108. Se7en.
109. Serenity.
110. Severence.
111. Sherlock Holmes (2009)
112. Shoot'Em Up.
113. Silent Hill.
114. Skyline.
115. Smokin' Aces 1.
116. Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins Ball.
117. Spaceballs.
118. Spiderman 1.
119. Spiderman 2.
120. Spiderman 3.
121. Splice.
122. Star Wars 1: The Phantom Menace.
123. Star Wars 4: A New Hope.
124. Star Wars 6: Return of the Jedi.
125. Step Up 3.
126. Straightheads.
127. Suck.
128. Superman 1.
129. Superman 2.
130. Superman 3: Superman vs Superman.
131. Superman 4: The Quest for Peace.
132. Superman 5: Superman Returns.
133. Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight.
134. Taxi Driver.
135. Ten Inch Heroes.
136. The A Team.
137. The Boondock Saints.
138. The Burbs.
139. The Crow.
140. The Dark Crystal.
141. The Expendables.
142. The Fifth Element.
143. The Fighter.
144. The Hills Run Red.
145. The Hole.
146. The Last Airbender.
147. The Lost Boys 1.
148. The Lost Boys 2: The Tribe.
149. The Lost Boys 3: The Thirst.
150. The Lovely Bones.
151. The NeverEnding Story 1.
152. The NeverEnding Story 3.
153. The Princess Bride.
154. The Social Network.
155. The Virginity Hit.
156. The Wiz.
157. Toy Story 3.
158. True Grit.
159. Uncle Buck.
160. Valhalla Rising.
161. Vampire in Brooklyn.
162. Vampires Suck.
163. Van Helsing.
164. Where the Wild Things Are.
165. Wicked Little Things.
166. Wild Wild West.
167. Willow.
168. Young Again.
169. Young Frankenstein.
170. Zack and Miri make a Porno.

I realised, while compiling this list, that some films have gone missing after my laptop died... Not everything was copied over onto the external harddrive by the rescue. Including 3 of the Star Wars films, and some random parts of series/ trilogies, live NeverEnding Story 2. MUST remember to fix that! Watch for those in the updates. Lol.

Beautiful isn't it? Of those, there are about 15 I've yet to watch... Which is saying something.

Apologies for the fact that some are MASSIVELY out of order... Did an Alphanumeric sort in Open Office and it plays silly buggers with numbers.

TRAVELLING IS FUN!

I want to travel... Like... LOADS.

Maybe to...

New Zealand
Texas
Michigan
Austrailia
South Africa (All of it. I'm not joking.)
Memphas
Italy
France
LA
New York
Oklahoma
Florida (Again)
Seattle
Greece
Turkey
Cyprus

And other places... Lots of places.

Is it wrong that I want to take my savings (For a flat deposit), grab a friend, and just travel for a year!?

Anyone want to join me!?

I keep forgetting that I can be whoever or whatever I want to be. I can wear whatever I want to wear. I don't have to settle on just one thing. If I want to wear skinny jeans, an oversized jumper and boots one day I can, and if the next day I want to wear baggy jeans and tank tops with my TOMS I can, and if the next day I want to wear a floral dress I can. Because there are no rules regarding what I can and cant wear. Nothing to tell me that I HAVE to be just one way. I like so many different kinds of clothes, why cant I wear them all whenever I feel like it? The only thing stopping me is me, really.

So I'm back. I've deleted a bunch of posts. Specific ones. Gunna try and get this place back to a less angsty zone.

I'm medicated, I've got an appointment coming up at some point to start my councilling, just waiting for it, getting my joint problems looked into, my heart weirdness too. It's all getting done. Currently on heavy duty sleeping pills to sort out my sleeping pattern.

Got a job, and now the oppertunity for another one. Still working on my story. Want to start my own business. Lots going on.

Learning to drive still... It's a slow process for me. Still planning on doing my direct access. Saving a flat deposit. Planning on taking a holiday next year.

Lots of things to do... But as always it comes down to money. The bain of my existance.

Mad Girl's Love Song - Sylvia Plath

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The Sick Equation - Brian Patten

In school I learned that one and one made two,
It could have been engraved in stone,
An absolute I could not question or refute.
But at home, sweet home, that sum was open to dispute -
In that raw cocoon of parental hate is where
I learned that one and one stayed one and one.
What's more, because all that household's anger and its pain
Stung more than any teacher's cane
I came to believe how it was best
That one remained one,
For by becoming two, one at least would suffer so.

Believing this I threw away so many gifts -
I never let love stay long enough to take root,
But by thinking myself of too little worth
I crushed all its messengers.

I grew - or did not grow -
And kept my head down low,
And drifted with the crowd,
One among the many whose dreams of flight
Weighed down the soul,
And kept it down,
Because to the flightless
The dream of flight's an anguish.
I stayed apart, stayed one,
Claiming separateness was out of choice,
And at every wedding ceremony I saw
The shadow of that albatross - divorce -
Fall over groom and bride,
And I took small comfort in believing that, to some degree
They too still harboured dreams of flying free.

I was wrong of course,
Just as those who brought me up were wrong.
It's absurd to believe all others are as damaged as ourselves,
And however late on, I am better off for knowing now
That given love, by taking love all can in time refute
The lesson that our parents taught,
And in their sick equation not stay caught.

Jilted - Sylvia Plath

My thoughts are crabbed and sallow,
My tears like vinegar,
Or the bitter blinking yellow
Of an acetic star.

Tonight the caustic wind, love,
Gossips late and soon,
And I wear the wry-faced pucker of
The sour lemon moon.

While like an early summer plum,
Puny, green, and tart,
Droops upon its wizened stem
My lean, unripened heart.

The Starfish - Ka Hôkû Kai.

Once upon a time, there was a wise elder who went to the sea to contemplate. One day, while walking along the shore, the elder looked down the beach and saw a gracefully dancing human figure.

The elder wondered out loud; "Who would so joyfully greet this day with hula?" and began to walk faster to catch up.

Getting closer the elder saw that the dancer was a child, who was not dancing at all. The child was reaching down to the sand to pick up something and was very gently throwing it into the sea.

The elder called out to the child; "Aloha! What are you doing?"

The child paused, looked up and replied; "Throwing starfish into the sea."

Surprised, the elder sputtered; "I...I guess I should have asked, WHY are you throwing starfish into the sea?"

The child smiled brightly, pointed upward and, with exquisite simplicity, replied; "The sun is up, the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they will die."

"But, don't you realize, " asked the elder, "that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it? You can't possibly make a difference!"

The child listened politely then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it gently into the sea, just beyond the breaking waves then exuberantly declared; "It made a difference for that one."

Eeep!

Four days until I'm back in Surrey. Woohoo! My cousins wedding on Saturday too which is AWESOME! I have to ring the Job centre tomorrow AGAIN about my claim. Lameo!

I cant wait to see Best Guy Friend and be wrapped up in his arms even if it's just for a Just Friends hug, because that's better than no hugs at all. He's gunna come back to Yummy Mummys with me and I'm hoping to watch T3 and drink vodka and coke and chill out, just the three of us. Maybe movie cuddles? A girl can hope.

I'm so excited.

Hm.

I really want a pair of denim shorts... Don't ask why because I don't like my legs, but I feel the need to own and wear denim shorts. This is strange.

Hey Science!

First, Pluto loses it's status as a planet, then recently the Triceratops loses it's status as a dinosaur. WHAT NEXT SCIENCE!?! What else are you going to humiliate!? What else of my beloved childhood learnings are you going to discredit!?

Well I for one will always consider Pluto a planet and the Triceratops as a real dinosaur that existed. Fuck you science!!!

Poor Firefly...

Hey you! Yeah, you! What do you think you're playing at!?! Get your damn Star Trek out of my Firefly!



I will not tolerate this madness!

My Adventures in Having Dates...

So I've never been on a real date before. I'm serious. I'm 24 and I've not been on a date.

One of my exes said he'd take me out to the cinema, his treat, cos I was sad and poor... Then he came to meet me and we went in and when it came to buy the tickets he bitched at me for 20 minutes that I had to buy my own. So I couldn't get a drink or anything cos it was the last of my money. He didn't care. It was so horrid. He'd promised his treat.

I went to the pub once half an hour before it shut for a drink with a guy. If that counts? He said it did.

He also said a takeaway in my bedroom watching a movie counted.

Do those three count? If they do then I HAVE been on a date. They've just all sucked.

I want a real date. Like going to the airshow in the day then to the pub for dinner and drinks after. Or going to see a musical then for drinks and food after. Or something. Something better than takeaway or a pint of cider. :o(

Everyone else gets dates.

Attention One and All...

I shall now unveil my new hair colour to you all...

*Drumroll*

Are you excited?

*Another Drumroll*

I bet you're excited.

*Yet More Drumroll*

TAADAA!!!



Pretty red huh? I love it. It's plummy red goodness and I can finally, honestly say that my hair is red! Yay!

Gunna be a BITCH to maintain this colour! Hoping to get it trimmed up and stuff on Saturday with my invisible money. Lol.

So I'm moving!

Things to do in the next ten days:

• Confirm leaving with Mother.
• Go through my things, sort them into 3 lots: Take with me, Store, Give away.
• Take unwanted things to the charity shop.
• Buy some more smart shirts for interviews and such.
• Pack things I'll need into as little space as I can.
• Box up all of my crap and put it neatly, labelled in the basement.
• Try and find someone willing to drive up and pick me and my crap up and drive me back down again.
• If that last one fails buy a train ticket and curse the amount of stuff I need to take with me. Struggle on the trains all day cursing a lack of chivalry in modern men.
• Cry from happiness when I finally arrive at my destination, no doubt tired, dirty and hating everyone and everything.

Funny enough, breaking it to mum that I want to move back to Surrey was easy. Cos she expected it. Ah. That obvious am I? Good to know...

It occurred to me that what I consider exercise, lots of people wouldn't. Well to anyone thinking that. Fuck you. I'm way unhealthy and anything that gets my heart pumping and a sweat starting to form is exercise. Take your biased ass somewhere else.

So what if it's only 4 exercises at 20 reps a piece? It's a start.

Soon I'll be JOGGING! Jam that in your pipe and smoke it.

My calorie intake is hella low. I'm not starving myself or anything, I just only eat when I'm hungry and I tend to fill up on tea in lieu of actually eating food. Which is bad. But works for me. 

Boo

We got a new dog a couple of days ago... Just went out with Chloe to take her for a walk. 45 minutes, not bad. Gunna go out with her and Chloe in the evening and take her out in the day. I figure an hour and a half to two hours of walking the dog a day should help towards the weight loss goal.

Yay.