Thursday, 27 May 2010

Oh Randomness, How I Lothe You.

News stories on Yahoo front page today are all horrid. Except one, which is mindless and boring. Famine, explosions, mid air drama. Then Cheryl Cole filing for divorce. Which in my opinion doesn't even constitute news. Who cares what she does? Unless it's something I'd care about if anyone did it, I don't want to know.


Sometimes I find it very difficult talking to people about emotional things. It comes off, it would seem, that an open complaint is something pointed at a singular person, because at that time one person is in the fore of it all. If that makes sense. My frustration at a situation that has been reoccurring for years comes off as some kind of insane begging. Which it isn't. I don't like begging and I don't like to beg. BUT. Right. Right... I can rant now? Fuck it, I will a bit. I find it very difficult to meet people. Prospective partner type people. I'm shy and terrified and stutter and stumble. I also don't like going into things blind. It doesn't mean I don't fancy people when I first meet them. I do. Unfortunately I always end up in the friend zone. You see when me and my girl friends go out "on the pull" I don't have much luck, and not for lack of trying. Guys (and girls) hit on my friends, and befriend me. So I always end up in the situation of fancying people who go on about how amazing I am and how lucky I'll make someone but that someone is never them. Because I'm such a good friend, and they don't want to ruin the friendship. Then I get to hear about how much they're struggling to find someone. They reel off things they want, things I do. But it's not enough. We'd never work. We're amazing as friends, but as a couple it would fail. Of course it's never tried. So no-one really knows. Because I'm never right. Wrong look. Wrong personality. Wrong size. Wrong sense of humour. Wrong way of dressing. Wrong something, anything. It never seems to register that all of the things I'm wrong with aren't working for them in their search any way. No risk is ever taken to see if maybe, just maybe, taking a chance on something different from what they're used to would have a reward. Benefit. Because people are too scared to take a chance on change. I understand that. Doesn't stop it hurting. Doesn't stop it being a kick in the teeth every time. How many times now? Six or seven... Maybe more. Probably more. Ugh. OK. I'm done. /rant.

Here is a picture of my cat in a hat, to take the edge off of the angry girl rant.

Mackie in a Hat

Cute huh?

Right... I want more than one fancy dress outfit. I have some LAMEO "sexy" stewardess getup. Ugh. I quite tire of "sexy" fancy dress. Have you SEEN some of them? The sexualisation of pretty much everything, including animals, is annoying. Granted, I'd probably feel rather different if I could wear said sexy outfits without looking like a moose. But whatevs. I pretty much hate the over sexualisation of everything. Sex is everywhere. And half of these outfits are ridiculous. It's all about titillating menfolk. Playing into their, weird, desires. Half of them aren't sexy, their semi nude. It's wrong. "Sexy" police woman, "Sexy" nurse, "Sexy" bumblebee, "Sexy" pirate, "Sexy" Alice in Wonderland. Read that last one again. Alice in wonderland. A young girl. A childs book/ film. Made "Sexy". Yeah. Wrong. Anyway. I want some new outfits. I want a Harley Quinn one, and a pirate one, and something steam punk, and a Poison Ivy one... Well... Lots. But most fancy dress costumes aren't in my size. Which is lame.

I'm done, for now, I think....

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