Do You Know Your SHARP Rating?

To anyone who rides a motorbike, go here and have a quick looksee at the SHARP rating for your helmet, or the one you're looking at buying. Not all makes and models are up, but there's over 100 on there and I think you'll be shocked and a bit surprised to see how some of the more expencive, "Great" helmets test.

The reason I mention this is because there are helmets on sale that basically do NOTHING in impact except stop your head from actually exploding across the pavement, your brain still gets plenty shaken and fuck knows the damage that would do.

I decided I wanted a Shoei Multitec helmet, because it's nice looking and a flip front (Handy for those with glasses like myself) so I decided to check the ratings. Now at £370, I want it all singing, all dancing, cradling my head on impact like a host of angels and generally being fucking excellent. It scored three stars. Three. For £90, I can get a Carburg Trip, which scored 5 stars and is the first flip from to do so, and one of the only helmets I've looked at so far (Flip front or otherwise) to get Very Good as it's impact rating at all points, and 90% of impacts where the faceguard remained fully locked. Hmmmm... Which one seems better to you? By the way... Very Good is the highest rating for impact.

The Carburg may not have all the fancy removable bits and flashy doodads, but I don't give a toss. I'd spend a grand on a helmet if I knew it would keep me safe, flashy doodads or not. But why spend more than you have to on something when you can find a better product for less money?

The Carburg has some great reviews, some 50-50 customer reviews and a few people have complained about it not being very water tight, so I'm looking at other options, although I may get this one regardless. The new Carburg, Konda, hasn't been rated yet, but it's reviews are fantastic. I hope they do rate it, and soon, because of the two, just from reviews I'd pick the Konda.

Anyway. I hate the thought that there's so much variation in the helmets on sale, even different models by the same manufacturer. I think it should be a five star, all very good rating or you cant sell it. That way less people who don't think to look will buy a one or two star helmet and end up dead. Young, new riders especially go out with a budget and they want something that looks good, and that isn't always the safest helmet on sale... Although I guess the Trip proved that wrong.

Research is important. I'm a pain in the ass having to know everything all the time but sometimes it's a good thing. Like this.

Tattoos.

I love tattoos. Black and white ones, coloured ones, bit ones, small ones. Almost all of them. Almost.

I hate Chinese characters. How do you know for sure that it says Hope and not Chicken Satay? Also, could you BE any more of a cliché?

I hate tribal. I think it's boring and same-y and everyone seems to get it. I saw something once that said "Tribal, for people who can't think of any decent tattoo ideas." which I think just about covers it. It doesn't even mean anything anymore, and it used to. It's so watered down. Any 'hard guy' seems to have tribal on them somewhere. Blurgh! Cliché!

I also hate nautical themed stuff. Anchors, sailor girls, swallows... Anything that back in the day sailors got, but has now become fashionable. Much like Ed Hardey. It's all retro chic and it bugs me. I especially hate swallows. I don't know why. Yummy Mummy has two and I really don't like them. Another cliché I think.

Your typical "100% Made In Britain!!" tattoos with bulldogs in English flag neck scarves or big Flags or knights with, surprise, a big flag. I get that you love your country, but PLEASE! It's like having a toy with Made in Japan printed on it. Do you really, honestly want that? Do you think most people give a shit? No! We don't. It's horrible and in my opinion a... CLICHÉ! God I love that word.

Tramp stamps. Sometimes they manage to combine this AND tribal into a double whammy of shit I hate. Throw in the words MADE IN ENGLAND and a random Chinese character and congrats! In one tat you've REALLY annoyed me! Don't know what a tramp stamp is? I don't mean a slag tag, or hickey, I mean those lame lower back tats that are normally a heart or butterfly or flower entwined in random tribal or curls. They all look the same. Seriously. Ugh! Cliché!

For that matter, I also hate dolphins, roses, butterflys and kisses, especially tattooed on the hip. Everyone has them! Tinkerbelle pisses me off. As do bands of stars and band names. Also the name of a wife/ lover. Cos a tattoo is permanent. Relationships aren't. I know there's more but I cant remember.

Think about this. Tattoos should be personal to you, they should mean something. Don't get ink for the sake of it. When you're 60 you'll probably regret the carebear smoking pot you have tattooed on your hip, because it's ridiculous and doesn't MEAN anything other than in your youth you liked getting high and making REALLY bad decisions! (Linked? Maybe. Depends if you were high when you got it done...) Don't blindly go into a tattooist and pick something out of the books. Every tattooist has those! So you will be one in thousands, if not MILLIONS of people with exactly the same tattoo! One that probably means nothing to you except it's "pretty" or makes you look "hard"! Take your time. Design something meaningful that you wont regret, pick a good tattooist, not just the first one you come across because a bad tattoo is for life, just as much as a good one, and worse than being one in millions with the same ink is being one who has a REALLY BAD version of what millions of people have.

My ink and planned ink may not be to everyones taste, but mine means something to me, it sums me up I think, and most of what I have planned are original designs, so unless someone outright copies my ink, I'll be the only one that has it. Or someone has the EXACT same ideas as me. They do say nothing is ever original, someone somewhere has had the same thoughts as you. But dammit at least I try!

Make wise ink choices people. Don't be a cliché!

Abortion.

Abortion. The great divider. Pro choice vs. Pro life. Both have their beliefs, their values, and their ideals. But two very different ways of dealing with the debate. Such a sensitive topic. Even the word "Abortion" can bring people to great emotional reactions. I know some people who can’t even hear the word.

I'm pro choice, although I doubt I'll ever be able to have an abortion. Not because I believe God will punish me, or because I feel I'm murdering a child, or because of the negative reactions doing so may garner me. Because I fear doing so would mean I would lose out on my only chance to have a child. Who knows what the future holds. I may only ever get pregnant once.

I believe that some people and their situation don’t lend them to a life of parenthood. Through some twist, be it faulty birth control, rape, they find themselves pregnant and unable to deal with the responsibility of having a child. Or maybe an illness means that following an accidental pregnancy to its close will cause the mother serious illness, or even death. And please don’t think I’m exaggerating there. I know someone whose girlfriend found she was pregnant; elated she went for tests to find that keeping the baby could kill her.

Of course there is the option of giving your baby up for adoption. How many of you would be able to carry a baby to term, give birth to it, and then give it up without serious distress? Giving up a baby could have serious issues for young women, women in already high stressed situations, women already on the edge. I admit, it’s a more palatable option. The baby lives, and goes to a loving family that so wants a child. But what of the mother and the emotional fallout for her?

I’m by no means saying that abortions are free of stresses and emotional turmoil. It is, believe me, I know people who have gone through the wringer because of aborting an unplanned pregnancy. But the option to not go through nine months of bonding with a child you won’t keep, surely that is better? What makes the emotional pain of abortion so bad, often isn’t getting rid of a child, but the fallout from the people close to them. The judgment, the guilt laid on them, the persecution, the hate. The judgment of strangers.

Now don’t for a second think that I stand behind people who use abortions as a form of birth control. They abuse a system designed for those in need, and give a bad name to women in dire straights, all because they don’t feel like being safe and using protection. Why should so many women, who through no fault of their own end up pregnant, be treated with distain because of a few who think it’s OK to leave their bodies open to infection and pregnancy instead of taking proper precautions? Why should a rape victim be treated the same as a women who has had 4 abortions in a year instead of using a condom?

While I believe that every person is within their rights to believe what they will about this debate, I know many people both side of the abortion fence, I don’t believe they should force their opinions on women who are already upset enough about going through with an abortion by picketing clinics, hurling abuse, wielding signs that depict Gods wrath or pictures of aborted fetuses. It’s unfair, and as most protesters are Christian, shows a distinct lack of grace that Christians are meant to be filled with.

How do you think a woman who has been told that she has to have an abortion or risk her own life would feel seeing a picture like this:


Or this:


Or this:


Why should women be forced to push their way through throngs of screaming people hurling hate at them, get kicked, slapped, have their hair pulled, just to exercise their freedom of choice? To do what they think is right? To make the only choice they feel their situation allows them?

Don’t get me wrong. I understand the views of pro lifers. I do. I understand that every life is a gift. I understand that you feel that by aborting a fetus a woman is throwing away one of Gods creations. I understand where pro lifers stand, and if I hadn’t seen first hand how sometimes abortion is the only viable option, I would probably agree. But I don’t. And I think that maybe more tact is needed. That people shouldn’t be treated as criminals and murderers for doing the best they can.

Some States and countries have abortions as illegal. Something I cannot abide. I think that everyone should have the option to do as they see fit with their body. Making abortions illegal only serves to push women into dangerous “back ally” abortionists that risk their lives. Unfortunately I can hear the cries of “Good! They get what they deserve!” from some pro lifers and that upsets me.

I’m not tarring all pro lifers with the same brush. I know many who are wonderful people who don’t abuse or picket people that make the big choice they don’t agree with. My friend Jon is one of them. But there are so many people out there whose viciousness knows no bounds. Clinic workers have been attacked, doctors killed, clinics vandalized. None of which is necessary. None of which is Christian. All of which shows such a lack of good will and grace that it makes me want to cry out for the world and the place it’s in.

Religion is...

I believe that the only way to accept the differences in people is to understand them. Not to judge people outright on their actions, but to understand how those actions came to pass. My constant need for information, explanation, understanding and reasons may annoy or bore people. But it's through those things that I can become accepting of others.

I am not Christian. I consider myself Pagan, I follow nature and a vast array of Gods from many cultures to make a religion that fits for me, that makes sense to me. Some people don't understand it, or like it, but it's mine and they don't have to. But I'd like them to respect it.

I endlessly read as much as I can on other religions and belief systems so that I can understand why people believe what they do, understand their actions and reactions. I think that through knowledge and acceptance of our differences, we can all live together better, treat each other better. It shocks people that I read the bible and other Christian texts, that I read about voodoo (Not the Hollywood idea of voodoo) and Islam and Judaism. Cults fascinate me. I like to get into the heart of things and pick them apart so that I can understand how everything works.

A big debate happened on my friend Jons FB because of religion. A friend of ours posted a status being derogatory about a Christian handing out leaflets, so Jon (A Christian) wrote a similar status, but substituting Christian for ginger, as our friend is ginger, to point out how ridiculous it is. Thus began one of the most frustrating conversations about religion I have even been in. I will post it under a cut. Jon is in bold and our other friend Aaron is in italics, my parts are in regular type. What do you think of it all? *Warning!* It's LONG. And the beginning is missing because someone else was involved and she deleted her posts so it didn't make sense at all.

Fear.

Fear has been a useful tool in our efforts as a people to grow and evolve. As children we have an inbuilt fear of strangers, something that has worked throughout the ages and still does. It stops us straying to far from our mothers side and into the hands of predators. Unhelpful if the predator is someone trusted but that's something else entirely.

As we grow, learn our surrounding, learn to protect ourself and make educated judgements that fear fades but doesn't disappear completely. Very few people honestly have an "Every stranger is a friend you haven't met yet!" attitude. A small measure of fear in our lives is healthy, it stops us from acting in a way that puts ourselves and our loved ones in danger, stops us taking unnecessary risks. Some of it is learned, things our parents instilled in us, some of it seems to be something passes through the genes, inexplicable. Passes maybe from generations and generation of learning, much like some animals know, when put in a new area and without interaction with natives, what foods or animals are threats to them even though they've never before encountered them.

When fear is left as a ruling factor in your life and is left to breed and control, no matter what lever you are capable of functioning at, all of you decisions are made through fear. This is a problem when fear effects the way you interact with people, the risks you wont take that most people don't even see as a risk. When fear leads it can lead you to miss out on some of lifes most precious moments.

Some people have claimed that it is fear that pushes them to achieve the things that they do. Fear of failing pushes them to win, fear if being forgotten pushes them to do the unforgettable. But not everyone is able to harness their fear and control it and use it to grow in a healthy way. Most people are controlled by their fear, they don't control it and that fear can bury them.

Fear for me makes it almost impossible to make eyecontact. It makes meeting new people a practically painful experience. It has stopped me from opening up, making the first move, taking leaps that now I know could have been great for me. Would have been if I hadn't let my fear blind me and stop me doing it.

My fear of heights mean I'll never go bungee jumping. It also means that I'm not very likely to stand at the edge of a very high mountain lest I fall off. It means you wont ever find me standing on the top of a building threatening to jump off, no matter how bad it all gets.

I'm trying not to let my fear guide me. I want to control it, learn it, grow from it, understand it.

I worry for the people that cant, or wont, get past their fear. Because their lives are darkened by it.

Depression.

Depression is a dangerous and sneaky illness. It attacks you, drags you under and when you don't think it can get worse it does. The you claw your way back out of the hole and think you're OK and you carry on, maybe a bit sadder than most, it grabs you again and pulls you further down than before.

Depression isn't just sadness, it'd a deep, uncontrollable spiral of hate, fear, self loathing and a painful sense of despair. It's blankness, emptiness, pain, fear, all of the negative emotions balled up and in one person ready to suffocate. It's shifting, spinning, changing and awful to its core. It seeps into everything, taints everything, turns the beautiful ugly, actions of grace into viciousness, love into hate, openness into closed. It twists and warps things.

In the UK mental illness accounts for a third of all illnesses, one person in six at any given moment will suffer from some kind of anxiety or depression and one in four will experience at least one mental illness in their life. Mental health conditions cost approximately £77 billion a year in the UK alone. Suicide is the leading cause of death in young people and adults under 45. In 2007 in the UK there were over 4000 suicides, over half of which were people under 45. These totals don't just account for depression, they also count in bipolar, manic depression, ADD&ADHD, Sever OCD, PTSD, anorexia, personality disorders, schizophrenia, dementia, strokes and eating disorders. The suicide rate is a terrifying fact to know... That through depression, desperation, untreated issues that overpower and take over peoples die. That so many people suffer so deeply that they cannot go on. They cannot face a tomorrow that weighs them so far down.

Too many people don't go for treatment for their mental illness, for their depression, through fear, embarrassment or a stubborn and ill-founded belief that they will be OK. That they could cope because they had until now. Not realising the power of their illness and the things it can do. The worst is when people know that they need help and still wont seek it because they are scared of how people will view them.

From the NHS website:

“Depression isn’t a sign of weakness, it's a chronic (long-term) condition that may require long-term management or treatment. Some people only have depression once, but many people have repeated episodes.

Getting help as soon as you think you may be depressed may prevent your depression getting worse. The exact causes of depression aren’t fully known. It seems more likely to occur if there's depression in the family, but having a depressed relative doesn't mean you'll necessarily become depressed yourself. Furthermore, there are a number of lifestyle factors or influences in the world around you that may increase the risk of you developing depression.”

The only people who can truly understand depression and the damage it can do are the people that suffer, or have suffered from it. Much like a migraine. Someone who has never had a migraine cannot understand it isn't “just a headache” (something I have heard many times while in the midst of a skull splitting, gut wrenching, pain fest.), it's so much worse than that. You can't really explain it. So someone who has never suffered from depression, even those who witness someone close to them suffering, cannot understand the depths of it. It isn't just sadness. It isn't just being miserable. It isn't just someone moping and refusing to be happy and OK and just get over it. It's someone who cannot get over it. Not without help. Because they don't have the equipment to cope.

Depression is the monster lurking under your bed. Grief can spark it. Trauma. Years of abuse. Chemical imbalance in the brain. Years of negativity. Sometimes they just don't know what causes it. Whatever the reason, it is there in many, but not all. Affecting how you feel, think, see and cope. How you act and react. How you see yourself and others and how your life unfolds.

My struggle with depression has lasted 10-12 years. I have seeked help only to be treated like it was nothing serious, so I stopped asking. Every few years when things got too tough I considered trying again before remembering the feeling of not being believed. I have attempted to cope, compensate and live. I merely survived and was lucky to manage even that. Now I'm going to take the step, ask for help and somehow start my journey of recovery. I hope others will too.

If you're reading this, you know who you are. Please do it.